Halima is a 30-year old lady working with a non-governmental organisation in Abuja. Her job is a well-paid one, and she takes home a 5-digit salary. She has been engaged to Farouk for the past two years, but Farouk has refused to commit to a wedding because he is currently unemployed, and he is financially handicapped. Halima on the other hand feels that time is not on her side, and she has asked Farouk several times to allow her to foot their wedding bill. Farouk has consistently refused to agree to this, and they have had several fights on this matter. Halima has been saving secretly for their wedding, and she has the money to foot the entire ceremony. Should Farouk swallow his pride and allow Halima to sponsor the wedding? Is Halima being foolish by offering to foot the bill for a wedding with an unemployed man? What do you think?
it depends of the level of the love..............
ReplyDeleteI am an Igbo man...I can never agree to a woman footing d bill of my wedding.If I were Farouk,I will get my lazy ass up and get busy!!!
ReplyDeleteShe should not foot the bill! he is the man and should workhard for their wedding
ReplyDeletefooting d bill is a dangerous thing as it might lead to disrespect by d lady in the nearest future.Let d man get sumthing doing and take responsibility for his wedding.
ReplyDeletewat is she doing with a lazy man in the first place???
ReplyDeleteit's manly for one to foot his dowry and very unmanly if he allows the lady to do that for him cuz hi will be belittled in the nearest future.....
ReplyDeletethough we are made to understand that if there is true understanding between the couple... it's an easy thing.... but the man should wake up!
If Farouk is a serious, focus, determine and intelligent kind of person, as well as God fearing somebody with a good heart, I don't see anything bad in Halima footing their wedding if their LOVE is REAL, but if otherwise, then Halima is toying with a dangerous snake-Farouk. However, If Farouk is a man enough he should go extra mile to contribute to the footing of their wedding either by engaging himself with an odd job pending when a good offer will come.
ReplyDeleteHow can she foot the wedding bill, when after doing it the man will now go out to start chasing little girls when they start living together. O girl pocket your money well oo, don't foot any bill 'cos are not worth it at all.
ReplyDeleteIf she Foots the wedding Bill there are chances that the man will become more lazy and the lady will have to continue to carry out the responsibilities in the house and with time they can divorce because the woman will become exausted and start behaving differently. Or what do you think
ReplyDeleteshe should not foot d bill, let d man wake up, start something(she can assit here) and arrange the wedding in a very low key as his pause can carry
ReplyDeleteDoesn't sound right for a lady to foot her wedding bills.It is ideal for her to assist where necessary but not playing the major role. who said the man must be gainfully employed? He can start something no matter how little.I don't encourage men celebrating laziness.If the woman foots the bill it means she's wedding herself.The man can never be committed to their marriage because there was no commitment in the first place.The has to wake up to reality. The lady should tread carefully.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't sound right for a lady to foot her wedding bills.It is ideal for her to assist where necessary but not playing the major role. who said the man must be gainfully employed? He can start something no matter how little.I don't encourage men celebrating laziness.If the woman foots the bill it means she's wedding herself.The man can never be committed to their marriage because there was no commitment in the first place.He has to wake up to reality. The lady should tread carefully.
ReplyDeletemake farouk go seek asylum for afganistan or egypt,and d lady should come marry me cus me i get money and work lol
ReplyDeletei dont see anything wrong in hr footing the bill ,if the love is there fine let hr goaheard
ReplyDeleteThe girl is desperate if not for that why can she live the man to be a man,he suppose to foot the bill for that will make him a man,God help me cause i can't do that for i will only support him.
ReplyDeletewhy in the world should a woman even spend her money on a man if he is the lazy type, with no drive? it is unmanly for a man, to sit down doing nothing, and watch the woman do all and all in the family. babes shoking ur money into ur pocket very well.
ReplyDeleteShe is read for d wedding, and she knows that d man is not working, so he should allow her to foot d bill without complain. if he dose not like it that way he should find something doing and foot d bill quickly. An idol man is a devil workshop.
ReplyDeleteIt's quiet funny how Nigerian read meanings to post, it was stated that the man is unemployed there was never a place where it's written that the man is lazy...lets get it right please, if the man has been trying so hard to get a job without luck can we all blame that on laziness? i mean considering the situation of the country...we so much carry this culture on our head without while we are so blind to see that the world is fast changing & we ain't even moving along with it....I think Halima & farouk should seat down, instead of investing on the marriage right away, should invest on a little business that would fetch in income for farouk while he still searches for a better manly & dictating job, after a year they can both join resources together & trust me if there's love no one will ever know where & who raised the funds....
ReplyDeleteIt's quiet funny how Nigerians read meanings to post, it was stated that the man is unemployed there was never a place where it's written that the man is lazy...lets get it right please, if the man has been trying so hard to get a job without luck can we all blame that on laziness? i mean considering the situation of the country...we so much carry this culture on our heads while we are so blind to see that the world is fast changing & we ain't even moving along with it....I think Halima & farouk should seat down, instead of investing on the marriage right away, should invest on a little business that would fetch in income for farouk while he still searches for a better manly & dictating job, after a year they can both join resources together & trust me if there's love no one will ever know where & who raised the funds....
ReplyDeleteNothing is wrong for her to foot the bill, it's written that two cannot work together except they agreed. And she is a helpmate to him so if she has d money, i think d guy should allow her foot d bill. d worst is when d man does not have and d woman too, since d lady has d money and there is love betw. them she should go ahead and foot d bill.
ReplyDeleteNo,i can't do that.
ReplyDeletehmmm...e no easy to marry man wey no dey work oo..! "if a man can not provide for his house hold he is worst than an infidel". Halima relax,take it easy, wisdom is profitable to direct!
ReplyDeletewhat are you saying what is meaning of love than,if they love each other,she can foot d bill
ReplyDeleteAlot many Nigerians are very insecere and this can be very annoying and obvious especially when you hear how they adjudicate on many sensitive issues. Farouk, like alot many Nigerian guy living below poverty level feel very downgraded and naturally would shy away from ladies who earn higher than they do and are living above the poverty stream who would want to shoulder the responsibility for their wedding bills, so its not suprising to note why Farouk refused to allow Halima to do so. What needs be done is that Farouk should be talked to and strongly advised to see anything wrong in it and accept it as a stroke of fate and a demonstration of Real Love.
ReplyDeleteit depends on the love and understanding, i really do not see any wrong with it.
ReplyDeleteHALIMA IS NOT FOOLISH, THAT IS TRUE LOVE
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong with where the money comes from, as long as both of them want to get married asap. But there is this Nigerian mentality that the men must do everything in a relationship, esp. the financial responsibilities. Plus I think the show of desperation on the lady's part is putting off the guy, as it would any other man.
ReplyDeleteI think it is not bad for the woman to contribute to her wedding when she have the financial ability, but the guy should save his ego by making a commitment financially.Even if Halima is bringing a greater percentage of the money,Farouk should make a commitment as the man.......This can only be possible where there is real"not lip" love and understanding.
ReplyDeleteNo she should'nt have to pay for her own wedding because at the end of the day when they will have misunderstanding Farouk will say after all i did not marry u but u did lady so it's a no no but women we always fall for these kind of guys thou it may work out maybe the guy will at the end find a job and show her appreciation.
ReplyDeleteAs for me as a girl, I will not foot the bill. The man shd get up and face his responsibility.
ReplyDeletefor me it does not matter, love is not about measurement,as long u n love u don't c money.if really that guy is n love with dat girl he needs to let it go. let the girl spend the money.any of them can spend 4 the wedding expenses as long there is love between both of them.FAROUK don't c the money that HALIMA wants to spent but c hw much love dat girl has 4 u. u spend or she pend , still gonna b love.
ReplyDeletelife is just simple to those who understand. for this alarm blow below, both of them are well in love because, those husband have financial handicap the lady do not mine that and still have heart and being loving him if she can finally said that she will do her wedding by her self, it is ok there is no crime for that i even love that too.
ReplyDeleteshe very very very foolish.how can a young lady at this present generation sponsor a wedding.
ReplyDeleteHeck !!! NO
ReplyDeleteIS not a crime allowing halima to foot d weeding bills since their is love and understanding, knowing well dat if her guy is well to do, he will definately contribute bt since things is not going smoothly, halima shld a little bit patient. And if time is running out, is not necessary 4 u 2 ve a societal wedding, an introduction can work out in dis situation,just b wise ok.
ReplyDeletepls dont foot for all the bill,atleast he should contribute the larger part of it
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, is this story from a movie line? If yes I think the Guy is gonna take advantage of the girl, and make her regret what she did. Secondly, if this story is real, I think the girl shouldn't foot the wedding cos the marriage is not going to be the best she ever wished for. Finally, I think the Guy is not in love with her because he's not commited to the relationship. Probably he has someone else he's in love with.
ReplyDeleteIF halima has the fund to sponsor the wedding,she is welcome .furthermore,she is the bread winner in their relationship ,she can as well help before the guy gets back on his feet again.
ReplyDeleteIf she truly luv Farouk she can foot d bills. Bcoz i think d luv is real
ReplyDeleteWELL, WE ARE IN THE CIVILIZED WORLD.DIA IS SOMETHING I CALL NIGERIAN MENTALITY,IF IT WERE IM THE FOREIGN COUNTRY IS NO BIG DEAL, BUT HERE IN NIGERIA , WE ARE STILL FAR FROM CIVILIZATION.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous
ReplyDeletewell, it depend on both parties, but what will happen if Farouk decide to allow Halima sponsor the wedding, then at the end he sees another gal an by then he has gotten something doing and he fall in love with d new found love, then what will happen to " Halima.
it will be a big disgrace to the men, if Farouk allow her footing their wedding bills
ReplyDeleteFarouk should fund the wedding if not he will regret it cos there will be sometimes the lady will refer to it we are all human
ReplyDeleteno no dont even try do that lady mens of these days dont word it.
ReplyDeletei did the same before n now i reget it.
MUCH OF U ARE STILL OVER THERE IN NIG BOTHERED BY THE SO CALL TRADITION AND CULTURAL MINDED WHICH DOES PROFIT NOTING.
ReplyDeleteTHE WORLD HAVE BEEN INTO MODERNISATION AND ADJUSTMENT.BOTH OF THEM SHOULD HAVE COMMON UNDERSTAND AND SHOULD BE BOTHERED THEM SELVES.
SOME OF U LADIES WILL LOSS THE MAN MEANT TO BE HER TRUE HUSBAND IF STRICTLY THOUGHT IN THIS WAY. IF THEY LOVED EACH OTHER, THIS MATTER MUST BE KEPT WITHIN THEM AND NOT PUBLIC TALK.
BOTH OF THEM MUST LAY A SOLID PLANE B/F THE MARRIAGE AND BETH ME, WITH REAL LOVE THEY WILL LIVE A HAPPY LIFE AT THE END.
POST FROM USA.
Readers, read and understand article before responding please...... Farouk was meant known to us has been saving secretly on Halima's absent, who knows looking at Naija condition now not everyone is opportunued to meet up with the task ahead but if Farouk should try much of his best and use that which he has saved and seek for his spouse interest to bring out little from that money she is having then he start something doing before the year goes down he can now sponsor the wedding and the respect will be there together with true love if thats the only problem they have at hand. Marriage i think needs money from the both side, each person should be independent of there own to make it stand strong and well. Thank u!
ReplyDeleteChuks,
Ecuador (southern America)
Here in europe its ether both family or the family of the woman..who pays the bills, our way of doing things in nigeria is not helping, some man here are unemployed, its the woman who go to work why the man take care of home they still respect each other..we nigerians has to grow up in must of our way of thinking,some men in back home has to borrow money just for wedding. wedding needs money its depending on how u want it.
ReplyDeletethanks all
Angel
germany
She will NOT be getting a husband only a SON! She needs to fall OUT of love with him, post-haste!
ReplyDeleteI am in the same position. My man lives in a poor country and makes a menial salary working 7 days a week and is financially challenged by a few other responsibilities that a man must take care of. I think he showed a lot of character to even approach me, an older American, middle class woman and encourage a relationship with me. I'm past having children. The age difference between us is great but I look good :). He needs a break to change his life for the better. I can give him that opportunity and he can love me for it. It's as simple as that. I dont have to give to Haiti, New Orleans or Japanese relief funds. I have a real man who needs my money, respect, trust and love. We all love a person for some reason or another. I admire my man's emotional strength and good nature and many other aspects but he is BROKE. He can only love me and says he does every day.
ReplyDeleteIf Halima and Farouk are in love and she can handle taking care of him until he finds a job then I think she should because she needs him. But she must be clear with him that he will pay her back at least immediately upon his first paychecks. I know it hurts a woman to foot the bill. It indicates, in our traditional way of thinking, it's unromantic, that she is desperate, that he is lazy, he doesn't care---but NO. She doesn't want to lose a GOOD God-respecting man who is proud and down on his luck. Money makes a man more attractive but his character makes him a God-send. Farouk, Halima is your best friend, let her help you to survive and LOVE her to the end of time for it. Good luck and may God bless you both.